Visiting One's Relatives

Visiting relatives in Trivandrum during the late 80’s as a kid was just a matter of holding mom’s hand and running around a new household as the adults discussed worldly matters and sorted out serious family relations. Of course this was after the customary cheek pulling and the oh-he-has-changed-a-lot remarks. Then followed the snacks, mainly some biscuits (Milk Bikis, Marie etc.), a mug full of watery chaaya (in all my experiences the Trivandrum chaaya is the worst) and if one got lucky some Vaazhakkya (banana) chips. Then when the load shedding (compulsory power cuts in TVM) starts my parents suddenly remember that they have to be elsewhere and beat a hasty retreat.

Now that I am grown and old, visiting relatives has become trickier. I cannot wander about the new house at will, munch on goodies nor just ignore what was happening and browse the TV. I have to be part of the group discussion.

Recently I had gone visiting and was watching my nephews with envy as they both attacked the tray kept in front of them. And as there was no TV I was forced to listen to what was being discussed. The topics discussed were varied and I doubt if any of the participants had a point to make other than to wait till the tray was emptied by the kids.

The talks started with a detailed analysis of a legal agreement which all of the elders present decreed was fraudulent. On reaching this conclusion smug smiles passed between all and through no logical connect the interest of the group switched to Sudoku. Thankfully it was just a small digression before we all became fully animated in unearthing what was the latest fad in robbery. I had to listen twice to make sure I was hearing right but yes. It was robbery that these people were discussing. My aunt was absolutely convinced that the in- thing was daylight robbery when the owners were inside the house. My uncle and cousins were insistent that such acts were more fruitful if committed in the night and when the house is empty. Each had at least 2 examples to substantiate their views.

I decided to stay in the background as none of the matters discussed were my specialty. That the discussion was a means to reach 8:00 in the night was evidenced by the fact that the whole party stood up abruptly at the said time and started bidding byes to my uncle and gravitated towards the exit. I however could have been mistaken because exactly at 8 my cousin reached over acrobatically to polish off an unniappam (sweet dish) from the tray and found to her consternation that her sons were already digesting the unniappam.

Whatever be the reason I feel the small talk of the “adults” matter little and it’s the kids who dictate the time spent when visiting relatives.