1. Introduction:
The sub continental society has been a diverse mixture of races, creeds and living species. It is arguably one of the most prolific arenas where procreation has most certainly not been the last aspect to be given thought to. For a country having a male to female ratio that would astound and kick-start anxious researches and surveys by feminist groups, India seems to be doing distinctly well along the lines of reproduction. With a huge geographical landmass with distinct subcultures, Indians seem to adopt a very elaborate but no less effective mating cycle to stay ahead of the world in child production.
2. Body:
2. a.Phase One: Initial Setups and Environments:
Though the techniques described below are used selectively among populace they are increasingly being used across stately borders, underlining the overall importance of this primitive ritual over any other differences of caste, colour creed etc.
To start with there is a male specimen. And then there are six more such specimens arranged circumferentially with varying degrees of scorn and contempt on their countenances. The ritual commences when a suitable female specimen, trailed by some inferior specimens of the same sex, approach the setting. The main male specimen, after checking that all the omens are to his favour pounces on the unsuspecting approaching troupe only to be surprised that the latter is not so inclined towards the scheme. The six supporting specimen at this point emit laughter characterized by varying pitches and a sudden itch in their chins. This exercise more often than not is doomed to fail for the initiator but succeeds in its general objective of population increase. This is achieved by the invariable intervention, rather physically, by another more brutish alpha male who succeeds in persuading the experimenters that he would like to proceed from this point alone.
2.b.Phase Two: Elements and Geography
From this stage the steps would involve only two specimens. The others having fulfilled their roles to the best of their abilities retire into the society to create more such opportunities and thereby fulfilling their social responsibilities.
In this stage the two specimens show a marked increase to be mobile. Moreover this stage also proffers to increase the vocabulary of the two through addition of new terms of endearments. These newly coined terms are noted to be uttered in whispers and giggles and in some extreme cases moans.
Consumerism is on the rise among the two and it is not surprising to spot the specimens frequenting retailers, eateries and cultural spots during this phase. It is however interesting to note that the nature of such places visited or products purchased are in marked deviation to what had been used by either of the two specimens before courtship. And much to the well-hidden chagrin of the male specimen and ill-hidden glee of the female specimen there is always a soft squeaky product pink in colour which would be referred to by the same terms of endearment invented by the female of the species during this period.
Tendencies to stretch the tendons and limbs by rotating or revolving around suitably sized objects like trees and small household objects like chairs and tables have also been noted. Rain and shallow water bodies are also inventively employed to further the cause.
2.c.Stage Three: Consummation:
This is still a mystery to all involved in the process. Stalwarts have dwelled and delved into the issue at length and have as of now managed to unearth some details regarding this mystic practice.
This stage is reached after a particularly insidious and elaborate ceremony. This ceremony is attended by all of the society who resides in the vicinity of the two specimens and who have seen them during their lifetimes. There are a certain group of specimens who bear grudges against either or both of the specimens and who carry out subtle torture techniques during the ceremony. These could be attiring the two in remarkably impractical costumes, parading them before the society and trying to burn their hands over a pyre.
After this ceremony, during the night, is the secret initiation that is performed only by the two main specimens. Having no reliable witnesses of the ceremony and due to the non co operation of those who have been initiated this study from this point is just a thought exercise.
Accessories imperative to this however have been methodically noted. It is just a matter of time before a suitable theory is advanced by our scientists that will shed light on this. The accessories are a glass of milk and a bowl of fruits, consisting mainly of apples, bananas, grapes and oranges. Jackfruits, watermelons, guavas etc are avoided.Incense sticks, and badly mutilated flowers are also postulated to play an important part in this.
3. Conclusion:
We are almost there in trying to decipher this mysterious and yet alluring social drama that is unfolded before our very eyes everyday. Our mission of seeking and publishing the "entire" truth is just a matter of time. Till then our investigations and deductions will continue to progress down the echoing hallways of truth.
Annexe: Stalwarts who have actually not been initiated but have unearthed this secret have turned traitors by trying to stave off our scientific quest by trying to turn our attention to other allegedly unconnected events or objects. Shrubs or trees being shaken, a revolving ceiling fan, the interiors of a shenai etc. have all been used to beguile the minds of the seekers.
The sub continental society has been a diverse mixture of races, creeds and living species. It is arguably one of the most prolific arenas where procreation has most certainly not been the last aspect to be given thought to. For a country having a male to female ratio that would astound and kick-start anxious researches and surveys by feminist groups, India seems to be doing distinctly well along the lines of reproduction. With a huge geographical landmass with distinct subcultures, Indians seem to adopt a very elaborate but no less effective mating cycle to stay ahead of the world in child production.
2. Body:
2. a.Phase One: Initial Setups and Environments:
Though the techniques described below are used selectively among populace they are increasingly being used across stately borders, underlining the overall importance of this primitive ritual over any other differences of caste, colour creed etc.
To start with there is a male specimen. And then there are six more such specimens arranged circumferentially with varying degrees of scorn and contempt on their countenances. The ritual commences when a suitable female specimen, trailed by some inferior specimens of the same sex, approach the setting. The main male specimen, after checking that all the omens are to his favour pounces on the unsuspecting approaching troupe only to be surprised that the latter is not so inclined towards the scheme. The six supporting specimen at this point emit laughter characterized by varying pitches and a sudden itch in their chins. This exercise more often than not is doomed to fail for the initiator but succeeds in its general objective of population increase. This is achieved by the invariable intervention, rather physically, by another more brutish alpha male who succeeds in persuading the experimenters that he would like to proceed from this point alone.
2.b.Phase Two: Elements and Geography
From this stage the steps would involve only two specimens. The others having fulfilled their roles to the best of their abilities retire into the society to create more such opportunities and thereby fulfilling their social responsibilities.
In this stage the two specimens show a marked increase to be mobile. Moreover this stage also proffers to increase the vocabulary of the two through addition of new terms of endearments. These newly coined terms are noted to be uttered in whispers and giggles and in some extreme cases moans.
Consumerism is on the rise among the two and it is not surprising to spot the specimens frequenting retailers, eateries and cultural spots during this phase. It is however interesting to note that the nature of such places visited or products purchased are in marked deviation to what had been used by either of the two specimens before courtship. And much to the well-hidden chagrin of the male specimen and ill-hidden glee of the female specimen there is always a soft squeaky product pink in colour which would be referred to by the same terms of endearment invented by the female of the species during this period.
Tendencies to stretch the tendons and limbs by rotating or revolving around suitably sized objects like trees and small household objects like chairs and tables have also been noted. Rain and shallow water bodies are also inventively employed to further the cause.
2.c.Stage Three: Consummation:
This is still a mystery to all involved in the process. Stalwarts have dwelled and delved into the issue at length and have as of now managed to unearth some details regarding this mystic practice.
This stage is reached after a particularly insidious and elaborate ceremony. This ceremony is attended by all of the society who resides in the vicinity of the two specimens and who have seen them during their lifetimes. There are a certain group of specimens who bear grudges against either or both of the specimens and who carry out subtle torture techniques during the ceremony. These could be attiring the two in remarkably impractical costumes, parading them before the society and trying to burn their hands over a pyre.
After this ceremony, during the night, is the secret initiation that is performed only by the two main specimens. Having no reliable witnesses of the ceremony and due to the non co operation of those who have been initiated this study from this point is just a thought exercise.
Accessories imperative to this however have been methodically noted. It is just a matter of time before a suitable theory is advanced by our scientists that will shed light on this. The accessories are a glass of milk and a bowl of fruits, consisting mainly of apples, bananas, grapes and oranges. Jackfruits, watermelons, guavas etc are avoided.Incense sticks, and badly mutilated flowers are also postulated to play an important part in this.
3. Conclusion:
We are almost there in trying to decipher this mysterious and yet alluring social drama that is unfolded before our very eyes everyday. Our mission of seeking and publishing the "entire" truth is just a matter of time. Till then our investigations and deductions will continue to progress down the echoing hallways of truth.
Annexe: Stalwarts who have actually not been initiated but have unearthed this secret have turned traitors by trying to stave off our scientific quest by trying to turn our attention to other allegedly unconnected events or objects. Shrubs or trees being shaken, a revolving ceiling fan, the interiors of a shenai etc. have all been used to beguile the minds of the seekers.
